Reflections

Of the numerous thoughts that flash through my mind every time I look at our son, the one constant thought that comes to mind is that he's a clean slate. Free of prejudices, immoral (whatever that means) thoughts, bad habits - a clean slate, waiting to be filled. There's a program on the Discovery Channel (I think) called "Honey, We Are Killing the Kids" that focuses on the eating habits of families and the adverse effect those habits can have on a child's future health. Through the use of computer models, they attempt to chart the growth of the children into adulthood and more often than not they end up being terribly overweight with significant health problems. I'm sure some of you have seen the program - but after a doctor's appointment yesterday, it's been weighing on my mind heavily.

According to my doctor, I am "morbidly obese" - which to me translates into being fatter than the average fat guy. The only reason I'm not wobbling around here like a penguin is that underneath all this fat, I still have some muscle from my days of actually being in shape. I told Napi the other night that civilian life has crushed me. I see now why so many people in the military - particularly those who spend the bulk of their adult lives in service - have a hard time adjusting to the daily routine of civilian life. But that's not the real reason. I've allowed myself to be fat and the question in my mind is how can I teach my kid proper nutrition and exercise habits while weighing 270lbs!? Like many others who have had to go through this self-assessment, the "new diet and workout plan" is already being developed in my head. There's already a current of inevitability that I find myself fighting for fear of accepting this as my lot in life, but above all else is this foreboding sense that in allowing myself to become a fat pig, I am doomed to visit these habits on my son and, to the extent we have more children, the rest of my kids. I can't allow that to happen. Sobering stuff folks, and if you're in the same boat as I am, I would recommend you go see a doctor if you haven't, figure just how bad things are and get a plan together to fight back.