As thankful as I am to have a job ('cause Lord knows it's hard out here for a mama), I wish I didn't have to work. But isn't that every mother's wish? I remember Dateline, 20/20, 60 Minutes (one of those news magazine shows) did a story on how women are reverting to the pre-feminist period and opting to stay home and raise children instead of having careers. They interviewed 4 or 5 ivy league graduates who all quit their jobs when they discovered they were pregnant and vowed never to go back. The interviewer asked if these women felt they were setting feminism back 50 yrs. They each answered "No." And I agree.
Well, there are many issues here. First, the legal issues raised during the feminist movement benefited all women. The social issues raised during the movement didn't really apply to women of color who've, for the most part, never had the luxury of being 'stay-at-home' moms. Most Black women have ALWAYS had to work. Dating back to the period of slavery, Black women were in the fields along w/Black men. Post slavery, Black women were either in the fields sharecropping or in someone else's kitchen cooking and cleaning, leaving someone else to care for their young children. And nowadays, we’re reaching a certain economic status that allows some of us to join the soccer-mom clique.
Now, I envy those women who get to spend their day with their children. I’m 5 months into this pregnancy and still don’t know how I’m going to leave my child w/a stranger at a day care center. But, like my mother, her mother, and most of my female ancestors did before me, I’ll have to summons the strength to hand over my child, turn my back and walk away when the time comes. Just the thought of it makes me ill. I imagine that eventually I’ll get used to the idea. I’ve even heard some mothers say they value the time they have away from their children. That it gives them a break from life at home, the chance to interact with other adults, and opportunities to engage in adult activities. So, I guess the fact is that my feelings on this issue may change. A few weeks after Peanut is born, I may wake up and say, “I am sooooooooooo ready to go back to work, just to get a break from this kid.” Honestly, I don’t see that happening. I can’t think of anything more perfect than being able to lay eyes on my son every second of the day, knowing that he’s safe w/me. So if my days are filled w/Seseme Street and Mommy-and-Me classes, then so be it.
Watch Him Grow!
